then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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