Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
