I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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