Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
