Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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