I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
birth control should be required to get into college
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
