Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am mentally ready for anal.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
