Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
