shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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