is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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