how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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