why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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