i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
