I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
