tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize