Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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