....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
