I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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