well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize