pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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