It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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