I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
