My boss' voice literally gives me gas
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
