3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
This house was built for laser tag.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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