just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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