would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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