I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I need to stop coming to work sober
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize
