I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
