gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
