Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
