i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
