let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
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