I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is it because I queefed?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
