If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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