the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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