I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she told me i tasted like america
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
