Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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