and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
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Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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