I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
