A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Randomize
