That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
