I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
