hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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