is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize