she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
