CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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