i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
