just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize