While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
