Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
