you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
