On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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