Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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