I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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