My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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