The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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