apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My breasts were aching with rage.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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