glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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