Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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