Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize