I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
