laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
